Monday, December 6, 2010

PïSS off

This is going to be dirty, yeah dirty enough. So, have you ever been to a public washroom? What kind of question is that, exclamatory kind.

Oh, I am talking about the guys section here, only the JACKS, so JILLS – please don’t read, you wont understand.

Well I am lost for words here. I simply cannot think of one single line that cannot be explained in more derogatory terms than what it would suppose to convey. So, simply ignoring the other side of the discussion(if you want it to be)..I would say, “public washrooms are one of the most interesting and mysterious places in world”

And hereforth, I place the argument to support the claims,

First of all, the construction of cubicle is such that sometimes you wonder, was the architect a gay who played a practical joke on all the pissers in the world. Why? The separators are always too awkward or small to suit your comfort. Then there is always an anomaly, what to do? I mean, when you piss, is there anything, any damm thing in the world that can make you look cooler than that guy whos doing exactly the same right beside you? Well, the simple fact is that it’s a natural thing, and you are always conscious about it when you are doing it. So, what to do in the meanwhile? What to think about > nothing !

And then, where to look? Another biggie to answer. So you look in the wall, then above the sideways(the guy, oh) then as you have scanned all four directions - obviously, you cant look back, unless you are scared of those rascals whom you pulled while they were at it and eventually led them to piss at their own shoes(remember OWAIS ? )..finally you look down at you thing (weird but true) and subconsciously wish to get it over ASAP.

And then, there is always that weird neighbor in the section beside. He would be so immersed in that mobile call that hes doing it all with his left hand (& you wonder) but final, he needs to close the zip(!) And its something like “Main…ku..kuch nahi kar raha…ek second yaar(closes)…haan bol “

Or else it would be that guy who will be so much into the ‘section’ that …I wont say any further here….

And yeah, theres some other special features as well… I remember someone not being able to stand still while doing it, rather he was kind to oscillating to and fro, for a second it looked like he was fornicating the ‘section’ ..dont laugh it could be a disorder…

HA HA HA,,disorder my ass….hes a pimp…

Oh I am forgetting the singing types, ever noticed those whos humming there while doing it..well what else can one do there?

Anyways, time to bid adios, but always remember that there are several other peculiar things that make doing it more interesting – like targeting those white balls in the ‘section’ or doing it the sideways to avoid that sound,, don’t lie to me..we’ve all been there…

And what to say when you find your boss in the sideways section? Maybe this “Hey, how are you doing?”(not the joey way please)

PS : ‘section’ refers to that basin where you do it..I dnt know what do we call it.

Afterthought – Why do 80% of guys spit in the section before, after or while doing it? No no, it’s a fact